According to statemaster.com, these are some Yorkshire/lancasterisms.
I will finish sifting through these at some point, still have to go through southern lingo yet!
- A bit-a´snap (A snack)
- A bunch a´fives (A fist, as in, "I´ll gi-thee a bunch a´fives!" A punch)
- Ah-cud eet-an´ors (I could eat a horse; I´m very hungry)
- Ah-cud eet a´scabby-donkey tween tu Brea´t-Vans (I could eat a diseased donkey between two Bread Vans as a sandwich)
- A piece a´cake (Very easy to do)
- A puddin´ in´ t´oven (Pregnant)
- A rate gu-ard so-art (A good sort of person)
- Allus at´t last push up (Always at the last moment)
- A reet gud do (A good party/celebration/wedding reception)
- As daft as a brush (A stupid/silly person)
- As thick as two short planks (Really stupid)
- A´streak a-yellow reet darn ´is back (A coward)
- Black-as´ ace-a-spades (Very dirty)
- Bold-as-brass (Very confident)
- Box in´t corner (Television)
- Brass-necked (Very confident)
- By ecky-thump (An exclamation of surprise)
- Cleck-udders-fax (A fictional town comprised of Cleckheaton, Huddersfield & Halifax)
- Clobber-thee (I will hit you)
- Can´t fathom it (Too deep/complicated to work out/understand)
- Don´t be daft (Don´t be silly)
- Dun´t make a´ a-perth a-diff-rence (It doesn´t change it even by one half-penny)
- Eee an´t got-a-clue (He has no idea)
- Ee´s not-reet-in´ ed (He´s not right in the the head; he´s probably insane)
- Eee wor 'ard on (He was fast asleep)
- ´Er bladder´s too near ´er-eyes (Her bladder is too near her eyes = she cries too easily)
- Fair to middel-in (Situation is normal, but not good)
- Feather in ´is cap (Proud because a person has an advantage, or gained a promotion)
- Furtha a-field (Further away)
- Get thee-sen off (Leave now, or you will be late)
- Get thee-sen on (Go away)
- Get-thee skates on (Be a bit quicker)
- Gi´ over (give up/stop it)
- Goin´ dahn´t nick (Ill/bad and maybe not going to get better)
- Got-it back-uds (Got it backwards - the wrong way round - misunderstood the point)
- Got out-ta wrong side a´bed (In a bad mood)
- Got up at crack o´dawn (Got up very early)
- Head-in´t clouds (Scatter-brained - a dreamer)
- He knows which side his bread´s buttered (He´s not stupid)
- Have five minutes (A short nap)
- I can´t face it (I can´t look at it - I don´t want it)
- I don´t give two monkeys (I don´t care)
- I don´t mind if I do (I would like that)
- If tha´ dances wi´ devil, thal´ ge´t pricked wi´-is ´orns (If you dance with the devil you´ll get pricked by his horns; you will suffer if you do evil things)
- In a fix (Someone has a serious problem)
- I´ll go t´foot of our stairs! (Very surprised but not shocked)
- I´ll slap thee-daft (I will slap you until you are senseless)
- I´ll tell thee summat fer-nowt (I´ll tell you something for nothing; it´s good advice and it will cost nothing)
- It-caps owt (It beats everything)
- It´s class, that is (It´s of a high quality)
- It´s not worth a ligh´t (It´s not worth anything at all)
- It´s way out-a my league (It´s too expensive - I can´t afford it)
- It´s way out-a my league (It´s too expensive - I can´t afford it)´
- I´ve niver seen the like (I have never seen anything like it)
- I´ve seen better-legs on a-table (A woman who has ugly/thin legs)
- It´ll do thee the world a´good (It will make you better)
- I´ll have him (I will get my revenge)
- I wouldn´t a-reckoned it (I wouldn´t have believed it)
- It's nut jannock (It's not fair)
- It´s nowt but spit an´ glue (It was not very well-made)
- It´s nowt like (It´s not aynthing like the thing that you mean)
- It´s on t´other foot now (The situation has completely changed)
- Let´s be havin´ ya (C´mon, let´s go)
- Let´ sleepin´ dogs-lie (Don´t talk about it)
- Livin' tally/ower´t brush (Not married but living together as man and wife)
- Nay-er cast-a-clout, ´till May is art (Do not cast away any clothing before May is over)
- Nobbut a mention (Not enough to be talked about; not worth mentioning)
- Not a-full-shilling (A person who is not quite normal)
- Not mah cuppa-tea (It´s not something I would like)
- Not worth tuppence (An object that has no value)
- Off ´is ed (Off his head; crazy)
- One a´t lads (A good friend)
- Put´t wood in-t´oil (Put the wood in the hole = shut the door)
- Pig in a poke (A confusing mess)
- Pull t´other leg, it´s got bells on (I don´t believe you)
- Pushin´ up´t daisys (Someone is dead)
- Put a sock in-it (Stop it, or shut up)
- Put thy/thee foot darn (Go faster in a car)
- See-a-man-abart-a-dog (See a man about a dog = I have to go to the toilet)
- Sent darn fer 5 (Sent to prison for five years)
- She´s got a pod-on (She´s angry)
- Six a-one an ´arf-a-dozen a´ t´other (Equal)
- Smallest room in´ t´house (Toilet)
- Swingin´led (Swinging the lead - pretending to be ill)
- Tek a-good likeness (Is very photogenic)
- Tekkin´t mick (Making fun of someone)
- Ten-a-penny (Very cheap)
- Thar´s done-it nar! (You have ruined everything now)
- Tha´s nowt so-queer as folk (People can be strange)
- Thy´ll catch thee death a´co-ed (You will get pneumonia and die)
- Thick in´t head (Not very intelligent)
- Think on (Think about it - be careful)
- Too right (That´s absolutely correct; I agree)
- Took a likng to-it (I liked it, after a time)
- Two-pennorth (Two pence; an opinion)
- Up the golden rockers (The stairs - go to bed)
- Up yours! (Go away because I don´t care about anything you say)
- Wet me whistle (Have a drink; usually beer)
- Where´s thee/tha bin? (Where have you been?)
- Would thee/tha credi´t it? (Would you believe it?)
- Barns-lay´ (Barnsley)
- Bra´t-fud (Bradford)
- Bradistan (Bradford slang - owing to it's large Asian population)
- Brid (Bridlington)
- Cass (Castleford)
- Cunnys-brer (Conisborough)
- Donny (Doncaster)
- Doncatraz (Doncaster Prisons)
- Flam-brer (Flamborough)
- Al-i-fax (Halifax)
- Arrow-gu´t (Harrogate)
- Udders-feeld (Huddersfield)
- Ull (Hull)
- Nares-brer´ (Knarsborough)
- Lee-ads (Leeds)
- Meccy (Mexborough)
- Mecs-brer (Mexborough)
- Ro-mish (Rawmarsh)
- Scar-brer (Scarborough)
- Sheff (Sheffield)
- Silverdale (A charity holiday camp near Morecambe for slum/poor children from Leeds)
- Ta´t caster (Tadcaster)
- Tod (Todmorden)
- Wayk´feeld´ (Wakefield)
- Wi´t-be´ (Whitby)
- Yo-ark (York)
- Ar´t West (to the West)
- Back oo-erm (Back Home)
- Darn-in´t smoke (London)
- Darn-Sarth (Down south)
- Darn-tarn (Down to the centre of the town/city - also "Up-tarn")
- See-sard (Seaside)
- Up´ No-arth (Up north = home)
- Yok-sha (Yorkshire)
- Yok-sha Day-ells (The Yorkshire Dales)
- Because of the harsh conditions that many Yorkshire people were forced to live in, their only recourse was, and still is, to make fun of the situation.
- Yorkshire humour is philosophical, gently sarcastic, self-effacing and dry. It follows the rule that all good comedy is directed firstly at yourself, and then at others, or a combination of both; meaning that as much as others make mistakes, or say/do silly things, it is also possible for yourself to do the same things. The laughter generated is a combination of relief that you are not the reason for the joke, but is also heart-felt sympathy for the person that the joke is directed aginst.
- "If tha´ can laff... t´ole world laffs wi´-thee, bu´t if tha´-crys, tha´ll cry alone."
Translation: (Laugh, and the whole world will laugh with you, but if you cry, you will cry alone).
Jokes:
A deputy (a foreman) in the pit, had to order 50 corrugated roofing sheets.
"Ar-dus thee spell corrugated?", he asked. "Err... jus´ write riggly-tin", his mate replied - and the only reason he could spell that was because he had a packet of chewing gum in his pocket.
("Wrigley´s Chewing Gum", for the uninitiated)
Note to the Milkman: "Please don´t leave any milk today - all they do is drink it!"
"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."
"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, because I wrote this note yesterday."
"When you leave the milk please put coal on´t fire, let´t dog out and put´ newspaper inside´t door. P.S. Don't leave any milk."
Hear all, see all, say nowt.
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt,
and if thy ever does owt for nowt,
Allus do it for thee-sen.
Translated: Hear everything, see everything, but say nothing.
Eat everything, drink everything, but pay nothing,
and if you ever do anything for nothing,
always do it for yourself.
- There`s niver nowt, but-what there`s summat.
And when-there`s summat, it`s-offen nowt.
And them-that allus´ thinks they`re-summat,
´as-nearly allus-risen fray-nowt.
It`s no-use sittin-an-waitin´ for summat,
´Cos more-offen, it´ nobbut´ ends-wi´nowt.
An´ come to-think on-it´, these lines I`ve penned,
Are-myst-lee summat´ abart-nowt
Translated:
There is never nothing, but there is always something.
And when there is something, it is often nothing.
And those that think they are something special,
have nearly always come from nothing.
It´s of no use waiting for something,
because more often than not, it ends with nothing.
And if I think about it, these lines I have penned/written
are mostly something about nothing.
- "It´s not´t cough tha´t carries-thee-off, its´... coffin they carry thee off-in".
(It is not the cough that carries you off, it is the coffin they carry you off in)
- "All I can leave thee, is what tha´ makes a´thee-sen".
(All I can leave you, after I am dead, is what you make of yourself, in life.)
- "If tha knows nowt, say nowt an-appen nob'dee 'll notice."
(If you know nothing, then say nothing, and maybe no-one will notice that you don´t know anything)
